your very existence is like the oxygen;
you make my insides burn,
yet i just can't seem
to have enough of you.

one minute without you
and i'm already suffocating;
turning blue and purple;

ran cold;


first kiss

i said,
"i wasn't your first,
you left a trail of kisses
on other girls."

you said,
"they all taste the same,
but there's something different
about your mouth."

i said,
"since you're my first,
i have yet to have
a taste of the others'.
yet the moment our lips met,
i was convinced that
i don't ever wanna taste
any other mouth
but yours
ever again."

you said,
"you may not be my first,
but i sure hope that
you're gonna be my last."



when do you know that it's cheating?
when you let the feeling grows.

...and then you did.



jealousy changes you—
it completely shifts your
mind and paradigm
and way of thinking
and way of seeing things.

jealousy makes your brain
cloudy with anger,
unable to think clear.

jealousy makes you succumb
to the gruesome power of fear.

jealousy raises up your
crippling ego in a heartbeat,
making you defending yours
like your whole life depends on it.

jealousy takes your will to love—
if it's still there at all.

because who knows that
loving someone could be this exhausting?

jealousy makes you
a repugnant, revolting human being.

...and jealousy has successfully done every single thing above, to me.



fear is such an ugly thing;

it gives you a sense of insecurity,
knowing just how many things that can go wrong.

it gives you a sense of uncertainty,
unknowing just what are the odd
of the things that can go wrong—
or would they ever happen at all.

it numbs you,
making you lose the ability to feel.

because why would you even choose
to feel only to get hurt,
if you could shut yourself down
from the whole world
before you got hurt?

it alters your mind,
turning you from a logical human being
to a big incoherent, irrational pile of mess.

and the most frightening thing of all,
is that fear scares you so much
that you can't do anything
but giving in to it.

...but i'm still afraid to lose you.