i was wondering,
what was i thinking
when i decided to fall for you?

but then i realized,
i didn't;

i didn't think,
nor did i decide;

i just fell,


herds, herdsman

she's a mess.
a repugnant creature
who doesn't know
how to live a life,
merely surviving.
nods to everything she's told to do,
a wretched sheep
following herds of lost souls;
how does one never thinks for herself?

he's a mess.
a human with no humanity,
lost his every sense to feel.
delusional wight
blinded by the power and wealth,
his money-driven grandiose reveries
full of portentous capitalism;
big-mouthed, greedy mortal
who lech after status quo,
speaks in vanity
but no truth ever comes out.


signing a deathwish

your breath reeked of coffee and cigarettes,
i could sense them
beneath every single word you said;
a scent so pungent,
yet it never failed to make me feel
like i was home.

i’d never been fond of smokers;
but i liked this melancholy vibe you emitted
every time you inhale your cigarette,
or take a sip of your coffee.

i liked you the best when
you looked so vulnerable
with your hand holding a cigarette,
hair messed,
and mind stressed;
i once caught a sight of it and got
my eyes fixated on you.

maybe you were clueless
just how you could left me
so breathless,
i was wondering if it was
your smokes all along.

and before you knew it,
i felt like i wouldn't mind ditching oxygen
just to be able to breathe nicotine
alongside you.

some people said that
falling in love with a smoker was like
writing my own suicide letter.

if that was true,
i would let your habit consume me;
i would still give myself to die slowly with you;

until we both cough blood
from perpetual toxic we inhaled;

until our sleep-deprived selves weep for caffeine
you've always longed for the longest time.